Shut up, shut up, shut up. Shut...UP!!!!

I found this photo here.  They were made by "Luna's Crafts" on Etsy! 

A Mother's Work: Stick a Fork in It

SPOILER ALERT:  THIS POST IS ABOUT THE SEASON 6 FINALE!  THUS THE SHOUTY CAPS!

How did it take me this long to blog about the finale?  Dang.  Season 6 was toe up from the first episode to the last.  WTF?!?!?  I am still scratching my head from the school shooting, let alone Tara's demented, kitchen sink death.

You know you still love me.
Meat fork or not. 

OH SHIT - see???  It keeps hitting me all over again!  TARA'S DEAD!!!  I don't even know if I'm going to LIKE season 7 without her!!!  OMG she so did NOT deserve that.  And by Gemma.  GEMMA!  I love me some Gemma...but bitch needs to d-i-e.  And Jax needs to be the one to pull the trigger.  Or shove the knife in.  Or wrap the rope around her neck.  Whatever happens, Jax needs to kill Gemma.  There.  I said it.

Would you like a leg?
OR THE NECK?!

What the hell else even happened in that episode?  Who gives a
shit.  Tara's dead!  By a meat fork!  LOL  It's still so raw...and upsetting...and funny as hell!  A meat fork!!

I am a god.
Even with this shitty look on my face. 

WOW how about when she went to the park to meet the lawyer and Jax showed up with SAMCRO.  I was so upset by the bad vibe.   And I was in such a panic that he was going to kill her!  But when he said something like  "I'm not going to hurt the boys and I'm not going to hurt you" (in that sexy Jax accent)...I was so happy.

This scene is the only thing keeping
me from flipping the hell OUT!!!!

And it was so bittersweet that they got to act like man and wife once again before Tara died.  For an hour or so, they were truly happy together after all that time.  (Shit I might cry again!)

OH and how about Tyne!!  This is ALL...ON...HER.  Every last second of it.  I hate her almost as much as I hated that beotch Agent Stahl.

Imgur shot

OMG WHAT a hot mess this show has become.  I was getting a bit bummed during season 6...because it's not fun anymore.  But holy shit...can you imagine season 7???  It's an absolute implosion!!!  Everyone's going to die!!!  You know they are!!  And I'm going to be yelling "Save Chibs and Tig!!  For the love of god...save Chibs and Tig!!!"

What is going to happen to those poor boys now?  Poor Tara.  She was so happy and content and relieved when she walked back into her house.  I felt so happy for her.  And then BAM!  "Want some MEAT, sister???  It's really juicy in the BACK OF THE NECK!!"  Oh shiz!  I can't even think about it anymore!!!

Somebody get my juicer.   

OK so who else?  Juice.  Damned if he does and damned if he doesn't.  He saved Gemma...but he can't tell Jax and save his standing in the club because Jax will kill Gemma if he finds out!  And he'll want Juice even more dead than he already wants him for saving her dumb bitch ass.  And she killed Sheriff Eli!!!  I loved him!  He was a good dude.  Just like Unser.  He looked out for them.

And poor Niro.  His life has been turned upside down by the club.  The sons seem to have that affect on everyone.  They have the opposite of the Midas touch.  We'll refer to it as the "eat shit and die" touch.  

Jax might as well pack it in...because his clock seems to be ticking.  At this point, I don't wonder who will die in season 7; I wonder who won't.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

SPOILER ALERT:  I have one more episode in Season 6!!!

ONE EPISODE LEFT!!  I feel like the season just started!!!

OK so here's what I think...

Tara changed her mind because Bobby was so nice (along with that other guy - is he a recruit?)…and she realized they’re her family.  NOT to mention her last hug with Jax.  She can’t bring herself to turn them in.  I thought that episode was BRILLIANT because it made you feel what she was feeling and put yourself in her shoes. I thought the exact same thing; I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. 

What happens now??? Can they arrest her??  The DA said she was sending a car after her…but I don’t think they can charge her with anything.  I think next season will be the trial…UNLESS she fools us and gives them up in the last episode. 

I don’t know what to make of Nero and his support of Jax.  Was it fake?  Or was he realizing that he thinks of him as a son in a way and realizes he’s lying to protect his family?

I’m very curious to know what is up with the coming attractions for next week.  Jax has Abel.  Is that from a previous episode??  Or is Tara going to come back?? I guess she’ll call him from the hotel room and tell him she screwed up.  She’s a mess.  A total mess.  I would love love love everything to work out and her to avoid jail and them to be a family in a legitimate business (as legitimate as prostitution can be. Ew!)  But I think things are going to implode before next season is over.  

Holy shit - do you think Jax would kill Tara?????

And you know Juice is screwed.  Jax is definitely going to kill him.  He'll feel like he's putting him out of his misery.  

And lorddddddd Gemma.  That is one crazy beotch.  I couldn't love her more.  That one should have to exchange unpleasantries with someone - preferably a woman - in every, single episode.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  She's just so "in your face"!!!  I guess I dig it because I'm just so...not.  LOL

Bye Bye Clay.  Don't let the AK47 hit you in the ass on your way out!!  

Fans of Anarchy

SPOILER ALERT:  I'm two episodes in on Season 6.

What the frig is going on with Jax and Tara???  How do they go through 5 seasons with mutual respect and then BAM!  It's Season 6; let's totally become different people!  Divorce?  I'm sorry, what?  Come again?  There is no WAY Jax set Tara up.  He would never do that.  And WHY would she believe Gemma after all this time?  Because she changed a few stinky diapers??  Are you SERIOUS??  That makes about as much sense as Bobby wandering around California looking for Nomad contenders.

Don't get me started on Jax being a big, fat CHEATER and hooking up WHILE Tara's in jail.  Again - I know he did Ima the orange-faced, yellow-haired skank...but that was, in a sick and twisted way, FOR Tara.  This hook-up-with-Stifler's-hot-hooker-mom thing was just totally beneath him.

Tara needs to sit Jax down...say "Dude.  What the EFF is going on?"  and show his ass what she found in the toy box.  You know, the paperwork GEMMA hid there.  And hell - if it's someone else?  Excellent.  Bring it on.  I love some good intrigue.  But it ain't Jax.  Wake the fuck up.

Moving on...

Meh.  Not thrilled so far.  Good thing we're only two 2 eps in.  Too much serious shit going down and not enough laughs to sustain it.  I'm sorry, Kurt, you being a Jersey guy AND a Rutgers guy AND a pretty damned cool biker dude, yourself...but I gotta say it.  I'm super hopeful things will change as the season goes on.  I don't mean to Monday Morning Quarterback...but there's a little too much heat in the kitchen.  WTF happened to Tig's hilarity?  WTF happened to funny probies?  WTF happened to Gemma whacking chicks in the face with skateboards (or whatever the hell she whacked that ho in the face with.  That shit was FUNNY.)  We are well on our way to another Season 3 Ireland feel and I'm not likin' it too much.  You have Juice drug and kill the junkie mother of the kid who just shot up his school, Newtown style?  Ew guys...ew.

That said...

I'm glad Dave Navarro is dead.  There.  I said it.  I don't like that guy being on the show.  He's fine on his tattoo show and all...but he's overkill on SOA.  Just a little too obvious.  And, frankly, the Latino stuff is getting on my nerves a little bit.  Remember when Kevin Alejandro got his ass killed by his own dad?  THEY were scary.  THEY were interesting.  THEY commanded you sit your ass up in your chair and pay a-friggin-tention.  This crew is like the kinder, gentler Latino gang who just wants to scare you a little while they ride by on their BMX bikes.

OK back to Tara.  WHY does she want to give Wendy those kids?  I get that Tara knows Wendy gets the whole "get out of the MC life" thing...but I can't say I trust her enough not to screw up. Wendy is just going to turn around and hand those babies back to Jax, because she loves him.  Or Gemma, because she'll make her life hell until she does.  That's what Gemma does.

Speaking of Gemma, does Katey Sagal kick some major ass?  She's just. So. Good.  How about when she came out of the bathroom and annoying, asshole, ponytail man was sitting there.  She had just been crying her eyes out but immediately straightened herself out an said "Fuck you" - even though he just mentioned his sister was the one Otto killed.  No apologies.  No surrender.  Gemma is the one constant on this show.  I wait every week to see what sick and twisted thing she's going to make look perfectly normal next...and she never disappoints.


Everyone just cross your fingers that some comic relief is coming our way.  Bring back Filthy Phil,
the laid-back-to-the-point-of-not-breathing prospect who will do just about anything.  Have Tig go into a strip club, only to find out the strippers are pre-op trannies...and have a great time.  Make Gemma go to the store with Tara and get into a fight with the produce wench.  Just do SOMETHING comical that will off-set the intensity of this season!  Please!

Season 6 Teaser Trailer

AWESOME Canadian Bikers

I love these guys so much, I don't know what to do with myself!  Quick!  Someone call Kurt Sutter!  He's got some serious material here!  Instead of Tap and Mercy, he can have Chibs and Tig in the courtroom!

Thanks to JJ for the find.  Keep 'em coming!

Goodbye Season 5

SPOILER ALERT:  I HAVE FINISHED SEASON 5, Y'ALL!!!

Jax, hair is everything in
this life.  Remember that. 

You have to love Pope's wisdom:

"Revenge is not about the greater good.  It's a visceral need that has to be satisfied or the strong lose focus."

This is seriously one of the most profound things ever said...I think in life!

And I don't know why I loved Pope so much.  I somewhat compared him to the chicken dude in Breaking Bad.  The worst of the worst...but someone you can really learn from.  Dude was Jax's mentor!  Outstanding!


Tara: "He knew everything"
Me: "Did he know you cut your own bangs?"

Chuckie's Cat in the Hat rhyming is hilarious.

Duhhhhhhhhhh...

Shrek:  I laugh every time they show this guy!  He adds next to nothing to the show...yet I'd hate it if they got rid of him!  I really have no clue why he made it in so fast, either.  Look at Prospect!  It took him forever and he died tryin'!  This guy, Shrek, is such a dolt.  But he's loyal to a fault and will truly do anything they ask...with a smile on his face...while saying "Thank you, Sir.  May I have another?"

Jimmy Smits is the MAN!!!! He's ridiculously convincing as a gang lord.  Seriously!  I am really impressed.  What a brilliant career move!

AMAZING artwork
from SSAVA on
Deviantart 

Holy holy shit.  Holy SHIT!!!!  Gemma, you ignorant SLUT!  I can't BELIEVE she set Tara up!!!    OH my god...did she tell the po po that Tara conspired with Otto?? Or just that she asked for the cross?  And oh my god it's on video.  Holy shit.

Ya know...WHAT is Gemma's damage?? WHY does she insist on staying involved with the MC?  Clay's history.  John Teller's been gone a long time.  It's like...she loves the violence and the drama!  Wouldn't you think she'd like her son to get out and move to Portland with his sons?  She could move up there too and find herself a 50-something hottie.  (My husband will once again tell me I'm injecting my own brand of morality into the show right now. LOL)

Jax...I think I just sharted.

Moving on.  Holy crap.  Jax turning on Pope and saving Tig?  Seriously one of the greatest television moments of all time.  I went from hating Jax - to loving him - in 2 seconds flat.  He went from being the Devil - to being an Angel- in one fell swoop.  And it's so ridiculously hard to wrap your brain around.  When I thought he was going to hand over one man to be killed - I hated him.  But when I knew HE killed 4 guys to save that man - I thought he was the most amazing guy  on the planet.  I sat there with the tears streaming down my face...first in sadness and then to rejoice.  Truly amazing.  This scene is right up there with the scene with Richard Harrow in the woods in season 2 of Boardwalk Empire.  (I strongly advise you NOT to watch that link you've a) seen it already on Boardwalk Empire or b) plan to watch Boardwalk Empire an truly do not give a shit about massive spoilers.

Wahhh. Wahhh. Wahhh. 

What's with Bobby ripping his patch off?  What a little puss puss.  I love him - but good riddance if he's going to leave over this.  I thought he was right when he was the only "ney" on the Clay mahem vote.  But when he came down on Jax after everything went down with Clay going to jail?  No way, man...you're wrong.  And biker or not, I hope you're headed home, patchless, to that shower of yours...because you're looking scraggly.

THANK GOD TIG IS STILL WITH US!!!  He's WAY too strong of a personality to disappear.  I love him almost as much as I love Chibs.

Poor Tara.  Girlfriend has a decent right hook...but no way in hell is she going to be able to hold her own in prison.

"Dear Otto, 

You are a freak and I had to pause Sons of Anarchy when you bit your own tongue off because I thought I might throw up.  For realz.  

Love, 
Carol."

WOW - so now I have to wait for season 6!  No more SAMCRO marathons!  I don't know how to feel about that!  I know one thing - my dreams will be a lot less scary!

Here are some Season 6 spoilers, y'all.  Don't say I didn't warn ya!

Sons of Anarchy Drinking Game

SAMCRO Drinking Game:

Drink whenever Jax says "I'm not gonna let that happen."
Drink whenever Jax says "How are we going to make this right?"
Drink whenever Tara does something stupid as hell.
Drink whenever Chuckie says "I can accept that."
Drink whenever Clay takes his sunglasses on/off.
Drink whenever Tig says something sick, wrong and hilarious.
Drink whenever Chibs says "JACKIE BOYYYYYY!"
Drink whenever Opie's wearing a man bun.
Drink whenever anyone's wearing a man bun.


By all means, feel free to add your own in the comments!

More Things, Life, Whatnot (Season 5)

SPOILER ALERT:  Episode 10 - Season 5

Tig to the head of the Grim Bastards:  "Let's just find Fat Albert and cave his skull in."  I swear I almost soiled myself at this.  Writing = Brills

Gotta love how Clay's talking to Juice and giving him this pretend-heartfelt speech...and it's all bullshit.  "I've done some horrible things in my life...blah blah blah...waaah waaah...watch my back." OMG Clay is out of control.  He's SO annoying now.  How the mighty have fallen!!  Just shut UP already, douche!

Things, Life, Whatnot (Season 5)

A few things:

I love how the hospital could get Juice on the phone...but not Jax and Tara...aka, the parents of the kids in the hospital!  Every once in a while you have to suspend disbelief a bit.  But I am MORE than willing to do it with Sons of Anarchy because it's not an often occurrence.  These editors are anal as shit and it shows.

"Listen Tara...you just sit here and listen to some jazz.  We're going to cut off the nice dead man's hands." ROFLMAO - who said this?? Bobby??  I think it was at the cabin.  Absolutely hilarious.

Quote Hilarity (Season 5)

Jax:

"Call Skeeter.  See who he's burning.  Tell him we need a thumb and a tit."  


I don't even remember which two guys had this conversation...but it's brills:

"Most think it's tied to the criminal element."  
"The city council?"

Bobby:

"It's pink...wet...tastes like sunshine." ~Bobby

Tito Get Me a Tissue

SPOILER ALERT:  I am 3 episodes into season 5!

OMG I LOVE Clay taking Piney's place on Oxygen Island.  That shit is CLASSIC!  Karma's a bitch, huh Clay?  You piece of shit.

Best line of the night:  "Is that LeRoy?"  "Most of him."  ROFLMAO!  SHIZZLE - that scene (with Pope's right hand man killing the 2nd in charge who is now 1st in charge after they killed LeRoy?)  Holy shit that was PURE GENIUS!!!

Shit.  Is Clay going to figure out that RICO is after them?

"We don't let other people raise our children.  It's selfish...and lazy."  LOL!  Gemma's so pious!

OH MY GOD!  Tig's daughter!!!  Pope, you son of a bitch!  You bastard!  How could anyone DO something so horrific!!!  And damnit, I LIKE Rachel Miner.  I am so pissed she's already off the show!  Poor Tig.  Oh man...Poor Tig.

Really enjoying Jimmy Smits!  I like him playing a nice guy pimp much better than an uppity detective.

Tara is getting married with her black bra straps hanging out.  She looks like me at yoga class.

"I don't think your whore Friday is keen on me..."  ROFLMAO!  Gemma's delivery never misses.

They just showed Clay looking all dejected with his oxynecklace before leaving on a mission with the guys...and my hubby goes "He's gonna be riding Piney's trike".  I might pee my pants.  How's it feel, Clay???  (Talk about residuals.  I loved Piney and truly miss his presence on this show and I loathe Clay for killing him.   Piney was the Gemma of the men.  He kept everyone honest.)

Another fantastic line of the evening:  Wrap a scarf around that shit.  What are ya, 15?  Go Tara. She's been trained by Gemma, aka "The Master".

OH MY GOD.  POPE wants Jax to KILL one of the Sons.  And he says Tig can never get out of jail.  So I don't see any other choice for Jax but to pick Tig.  Tig's probably going to agree to it, too.  (At this point, I didn't understand that Jax wasn't allowed to pick Tig.)

Oh my god.  I can't believe Opie is dead.  I am so horrifically sad.

GEEZ - I can't watch this show anymore!  Holy SAMCRO this is shitty as hell!  My hubster is so upset, he doesn't know what to DO with himself!!  He just went to text one of his best buds, Brendan - at 11:15 PM, no less - because Brendan's been telling us to watch SOA for a longggggg time - and Tom feels like one of their friends died.  It's just so sad

Frankly though - being a chick and all - I'm kindof glad it was Opie.  Hear me out.  He was so lost.  I mean, don't get me wrong, his KIDS now have NO ONE but his bitchy mother and his ex wife the porn star.  But he checked out when Donna died and buried himself when Piney died.  He wanted to go with them and is pretty much of no use to his kids or the club at this point.  Poor thing.  I guess I just hate to see a lost soul.  Now he's at peace.  (I grew up Catholic, whaddaya want from me?!)

And Tig.  LORDDDDDDDDDDD TIG!  WHAT in the world!  When is he going to PIPE DOWN and not be so friggin compulsive!  He gets everyone around him into trouble or dead!  He's like Mr. Magoo!!!

OK that's enough for me.  I'm exhausted after 3 episodes.  I need sleep.  I'll add some pretty pictures tomorrow.  Check back now...ya hear?

Broken Clay Figures

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched 4 seasons of Sons of Anarchy!!!

Holy crap - where do I even start?  The last 5/10 minutes of the last episode of season 4 - just like the last 5/10 minutes of the last episode of season 3 - was effing FANTASTIC.  HOW about Jax struttin' his stuff into the "chapel" and sitting his ass down at the head of the table?  And putting CHIBS in the seat next to him?!  BRILLS!

Awww...poor Tigs.  He was NOT happy to get the boot to the next seat down.  He was almost as dejected and pissed off as I was in church this morning when a family came in late and the usher shoved my ass to the middle of the row...but I digress.

BUT - as much as I loved it - I hated something, too.  WHAT was with TARA coming in...talking to Jax about PERSONAL BIZZNAZZ...and being all possessive with him with her arm around him?  As cool as it was to compare the scene to the shot of Gemma and John Teller all those years ago, it was ANNOYING AS HELL to see Tara treating Jax like a big ol' BABY in front of his club.  Talk about EMASCULATING!  All I wanted to say to her was "TARA! (yelled like Jax yells it)  You are his OLD LADY!  Go home and fix him a turkey pot pie, bitch!"  Jax is going to have to teach her to do as she's told.

And where was Opie?  SHITE.  He is pissed...and I don't blame him one bit!  Clay KILLED PINEY!  And not-for-nuthin'....but I loved Piney.  I am NOT happy he's dead.

What I am tickled PINK about is that Juice is free and clear and doesn't have to worry anymore.

How about that freaky US Asst. District Attorney just walking away at the end and being so nice to everyone???  I LOVED how he handed over Juice's history folder.  And I nearly PLOTZED when he walked into the Council and dumped out the sex toys.  Although EW - I didn't even know there was such a thing as a CHILD lifelike doll last night.  HOW that is OK for them to manufacture them in ANY country is BEYOND me.

Moving on...I loved how the cop at the convenience store was so nice to Jax and treated him like a regular schmo.  Because for a couple glorious hours, he WAS a regular schmo.  I truly hope he gets to feel that feeling again.  I can tell he's going to be a complete badass in season 5...but I hope SOMEDAY the man gets to walk around barefoot, in his front hard - without his cut - and WITHOUT someone watching from a van on the street.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe (To Mule Drugs For The Cartel)...

SPOILER ALERT:  I am 7 episodes into Season 4, y'all. 

Holy shit!  Clay is starting to = le Douche!!!  He's never been a nice guy, per se...but now he's standing on the edge of the good guy diving board, ready to jump way the hell into the Biggest Douchebag Biker of All Douchebag Bikers Ever pool!!!!!

LOL - this was a great line, and I don't even remember who said it:


"A little bit too Mad Max don'tcha think?"  (About blowing up the "grease truck".)

SHIT things are heating up SO FAST.  WHAT the EFF is with Juice?!?  In one or two episodes he has managed to dig the most MASSIVE hole for himself!  We left off with the tree branch breaking last night when he tried to hang himself in the chains from the tow truck!  WTF?!?  WHY didn't he just go to SAMCRO the second he found out they wanted him to rat?  I can't BELIEVE how easily he turned, too!  I GET that he's afraid they'll find out his dad is black...but, shit!  You don't just TURN, mijo!  You TELL THE CLUB!  He should have said "Look - I didn't know and I don't even know if it's true but they say my dad is black" and taken whatever lumps they gave him.  And yes.  I know.  Those lumps could have meant death.  BUT - he could have said "Look - they wanted me to rat...but I DIDN'T.  I chose to come to you guys with some SERIOUSLY HELPFUL INTEL, instead."  HOW can he believe the new police chief is going to leave SAMCRO out of it?? Is he NUTS?!?  It's like Hale and Stahl all over again!  I just can't believe Juice is THAT stupid. I really can't.  AND - doesn't he care enough about the club to want to warn them?

This is all CLAY'S fault.  No one trusts anyone anymore...or at least they don't trust Clay.  If this were a few years ago - before all this shit started hitting the fan with the IRA and the Russians and the Mayans and the Cartel (the list goes on)...Juice wouldn't have thought twice before going to the club and letting them know what was happening.  I really believe that.

Moving on - very intrigued by the story with Tig's daughter.  Who, by the way, I knew was Rachel Miner immediately.  She is a fantastic actress since her Guiding Light days...and I really hope we get to see a bit of a story play out with her character.  Poor Tig.  Underneath all the leather and blood, he's just a dad with his wallet out, saying, "How much do you need?"

Jax is starting to freak me out.  He's so intent on getting out, that he's making stupid decisions.  Oh yeah, that's right, Jax...just go chase the dude in the car who were SHOOTING at you with AK47S...and don't even wait for back up.  (LOL "backup" like he's CHiPs or something.)

And Tara!  HOLY CRAP, Tara is SO FUCKED!  When Clay put that hit out on her with THE CARTEL, I wanted to shoot him, myself.  A CARTEL!  I KNOW what that shit can do.  I watch Breaking Bad!  She might as well say her goodbyes and visit the funeral parlor because she is so history.  This shit reads like a book.  Tara's going to get it and then next season Jax is going to be the badassiest mothereffer on the planet.  I almost WANT poor Tara to kick it, just to see Jax be so fierce.  Guess I'll have to wait and see...

One more thing...I LOVE Unser (who I've been calling Unger.  Whoops.  My bad.)  That poor soul is SO GOOD.  Clay doesn't deserve to stand on the same ground.  Ugh.  I hate Clay.

It's Friday y'all.  3 more eps coming up!

PS - WHO even WAS the dude Juice killed?  For 7 episodes, Tom and I have been saying "Who the hell IS this guy??"  And I love ______  (dude who finally made up with Tig).  Crap, can't remember his name.  We call him "Chicken Situation" because he reminds us of Greg Behrendt who wrote "He's Just Not That Into You" and was a writer on Sex and the City.

Goodbye Season 3!

SPOILER ALERT:  I have now watched all of Season 3!

WOWWIE WOWWERS.  Holy SHITE.  I cannot BELIEVE all the stuff that went down in these last few episodes.  Ireland...Jax sleeping with the skankiest ho on the planet...Stahl getting hers!

And yet...the most amazing thing that happened, in my opinion, is that Gemma was able to whip up that massive breakfast for the entire MC and their old ladies, just 12 mere hours after deboarding a cargo plane from Belfast.

Geez - where to start?  I loved the last 10 minutes of the last episods.  Watching the MC so brilliantly handle that whole situation with the Russians and Stahl was mind-blowing.  Watching Unger stand back and let is happen was tremendous.  And knowing that both Stahl - and Jimmy - were no longer walking the planet was worth every second of my late-night, swollen-eyed, fingernail-bitten Sons of Anarchy marathons of late.

But you know what really annoys the crap outta me?  Jax gets back - babe-in-hand - and all is right with the world.  Or at least with Tara.  No questions...no freak-outs...no "Gee thanks for simultaneously putting me at risk for gonorrhea, syphilis AND chlamydia...all in one night."  Nothing!  Just "I love you - here's your baby's left foot - blah blah blah".  If I were Tara, I'd have been three states over before his ass even hit the Atlantic, let alone Belfast.  But...as JJ reminds me...they are BIKERS.  They don't think the way I do.  Seriously though...a little more relationship stuff between Jax and Tara would help me wrap my brain around a few things here and there.  I wish the writers would realize this.  Meanwhile, the guys reading this (LOL as if there are any; please make yourself known if so!) are thinking "We're just fine with little to no lovey lovey crap from Jax and Tara, thankyouverymuch.)

So what will happen in Season 4???  KEEP READING, yeah?

It's a SAMCRO Emergency!

SPOILER ALERT:  I am on episode 1 of Season 4!

I promise to blog about the last few eps of season 3 very soon...but for now, I HAD to whip out the laptop and tell you all the following:

HOLY SHIT!  RANDOLPH MANTOOTH was just on Sons of Anarchy!!!!!!!!

Not only was he on it, it seems to be a "Very Special Sons of Anarchy".

Sorry for the cryptic post but I'm starting episode 2 as I type!  Gotta watch!!

MORE LATER!

Beam Me Up, Scotty

DIRTY...LOYALIST...BASTARD.

GOD, I love Chibs!!!!!!!!!

Someone Find the A-JAX!!!

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched 7 episodes of season 3. 

HOLY MOTHER OF HEYZEUS!!!!!!  TARA JUST WALKED IN on Jax with the SKANKIEST SKANK on the PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD. I did NOT see THAT one coming at ALL.  And I totally forgot she's preggars!!!!  OH my god I had to GET UP FROM MY SEAT ON THE COUCH and walk OUT!  I stood at the edge of the room and watched through my fingers once I realized she was coming in.  I think he wanted her to find him with that SKANK.  EW.  I thought she was a skank from the moment I saw her.  YUCK.  Gross yellow hair and yellow, skanky eyebrows and crispy-fried skin?  The skankiest skankness on the planet.

I hope Tara takes off and goes back to Chicago.  Because eventually - when they find Abel - Jax is going to come back and be all lovey dovey and FUCK HIM because he's not worth the little blue paper slippers she wears over her shoes in the ER.  WHAT an IMMATURE piece of SHIT.  "Let's go find my son.  We'll figure out what we're doing with our dicks when we get back."  Ooooh...big man. NOT.

Why Don't You Go Play Jacks, Jax?

SPOILER ALERT:  I am 3 episodes into Season 3...and I am FIRED up. 

Poor Hale!  WTF?!

WTF happened to Hale?!  I can't believe how easily they just...offed him!!!  Wow.  I had really warmed up to him...and thought he'd eventually learn his lesson and be a good replacement for the Chief.  (Who cracks me up when he announces "You're the acting Chief today" and hangs out at the compound with the wives and children. LOL)

OK y'all - I have to make a statement:  If I were Tara, I'd take the hell off.  Jax is being a douche of epic proportions.  I know, I know...he's upset about his son. I get it.  But GEEZ - do you KNOW what this woman has DONE for you?!?  She's practically GIVING her career away - for you - and all you can say is "Go back to work".  Or no, wait...this is my favorite:

"I'll see if Tara can help"

...the second someone gets stabbed, shot, or acquires any number of comunicable diseases.

Oh sureeee NOW you want Tara.  Earlier you couldn't wait to get away from her.  And you leave her sitting around with your mother...your stepfather...your boys...anyone else but YOU.  But the moment someone needs medical attention?  OH you're ALL KINDS of up in her bizznazz.  It's BULLSHIT Jax and I'm calling you OUT on it.  She wanted to LEAVE and go back to Chicago and YOU are the one who said "Don't run again...blah blah blah...I loveeeeee you...blah blah blah".  And she stayed.  And she took care of your kid.  And now you don't want her.  That is so weak, I cannot contain myself.

I shouldn't look so pissed, seeing
as I get the best lines on the show.

BY the way...I could not love Tig any more than I do right now.  He's so friggin funny.  When Stephen King came in as The Cleaner - a la Harvey Keitel - Tig was just staring at Gemma like "Oh shit - what did we get ourselves into?"  I made my husband rewind it so we could see it again...it was that funny.

Holy crap - they know Cameron's dead!  And the news didn't come a moment too soon as Jax was about to drive that SKANK home!  OMG I'm telling you right now...if he cheats with some ho...I don't even KNOW how many amazing lines about his thingie being in 100 hoo hoos with Tara on his mind are going to have to come out of his mouth to get me through it.

Could someone pass me
that comb over there?

And going back to Tara...can anyone tell me why she's parting her hair like Donald Trump lately?  Um...Tara?  Honey?  The combover is not your best look, mmmkayyy?

And could she BE any more stupid??  Someone's gotta learn this chick a little something about MCin'.  You do NOT - under any circumstances - undo someone's duct tape!  Even one side!  Now you've got to bury that chick and Jax is going to have one more reason to think you're a week little shit and want to get rid of you.  FAIL.

Tom thinks that the blonde in Ireland is going to have something to do with Jax.  At first he thought she was his real mother...but I shot that down because she looks so young.  I guess we'll find out what's up.  I'll tell you one thing - that chick better get SOMEONE on the damned phone and get that baby back to Jax.  Maybe then he'll come to his senses and be nice to Tara before she dumps him and starts doing surgery for the Mayans.

A few notes...

- I miss Half Sack.  That kid was a light in the vast cloud of darkness that can be SAMCRO.

- Hale's brother is a douche.  And he needs a haircut.

- Gemma is go' lose her mind when she finds out about Baby Abel.

And for the love of god...can SOMEONE please tell Opie to ditch that skank?  She's starting to remind me of Wendy Ho.  I could not believe how easily she grabbed that Chinese man and strutted both of their stuff into the other room to go do her bizznazz.  And you KNEW Opie was going to lose it!  WHY was he there?  It was pretty stupid if you ask me.  The old Clay would have beaten his ass...but the new, "more gentler" Clay just made a shitty deal to pay for Opie's outburst and is all "No worries, Opie.  It's the least I can do after trying to kill you and all."

OK y'all.  I gots to go.  Tom wants to take a night off because SAMCRO is giving him nutty dreams on a daily basis.  We'll see.  I may be able to convince him to squeeze one in tonight...somewhere between last week's Once Upon a Time and Modern Family.  ;)

Goin' for a Ride...and We're Ridin' in a BOAT!

SPOILER ALERT:  I typed this WHILE watching the last ep of Season 2!

Has anyone noticed that Tara has slowly but surely gone from a doc in scrubs to a biker chick in tanks and jean shorts?  Is she going to start wearing a club vest?  My husband wants to know when she's getting her chest tattooed.  LOL!

OOoh Blondie's leaving sobel to go say goodbye to her irish boyfriend.  Buh-bye!  Don't let Clay's bike hit you in the ass on the way out!

Tig: Why didn't you tell him Sobel's a rat?
Clay: "Cuz he'd kill him.  And he's mine."

Um...that RULED, if I may say.

Westin's death? Meh.  Anticlimatic.  I wanted an eye for an eye.  I wanted to see him suffer.  (GEEZ - what does that say about me?!?)

HALF SACK!  I can't believe he's dead!  I loved that kid!!  It's so sad!!!

WHOA.  Cameron took Abel!  That is MESSED UP.  Holy shit - he's CRUISING in that boat!  Call the police!  Call the effing Coastguard!  Do SOMETHING other than laying on Clay and yelling "He took my boy!"

Ya know - I wish they would have given us a little more cute time with Jax and Abel to really drive the knife in.  Maybe some raspberries during diaper changing or something.  I think I'd be a little more upset.  But I'm just kindof like "Yeah...they'll get him back.  It'll work out.

I'm almost more upset about GEMMA.  Holy SHIT!  You would have thought she was leaving the show!  Friggin A!  Where's she going?!?  She's so...calm!  And she has no friggin CLUE what's going on!  And Clay has no friggin clue what's going on with HER!  How absolutely delicious!

And is it me?  Shouldn't Gemma be able to plead self defense?  And WHY didn't she record the shit with Miss ATF Bitch when it was going down?  Does NOBODY know how to properly use a cell phone while being set up?!?  SHEESH.

Was planning on taking a break before Season 3...but doubt it'll last longer than a day...if that.

STAY TUNED!!!