Goodbye Season 5

SPOILER ALERT:  I HAVE FINISHED SEASON 5, Y'ALL!!!

Jax, hair is everything in
this life.  Remember that. 

You have to love Pope's wisdom:

"Revenge is not about the greater good.  It's a visceral need that has to be satisfied or the strong lose focus."

This is seriously one of the most profound things ever said...I think in life!

And I don't know why I loved Pope so much.  I somewhat compared him to the chicken dude in Breaking Bad.  The worst of the worst...but someone you can really learn from.  Dude was Jax's mentor!  Outstanding!


Tara: "He knew everything"
Me: "Did he know you cut your own bangs?"

Chuckie's Cat in the Hat rhyming is hilarious.

Duhhhhhhhhhh...

Shrek:  I laugh every time they show this guy!  He adds next to nothing to the show...yet I'd hate it if they got rid of him!  I really have no clue why he made it in so fast, either.  Look at Prospect!  It took him forever and he died tryin'!  This guy, Shrek, is such a dolt.  But he's loyal to a fault and will truly do anything they ask...with a smile on his face...while saying "Thank you, Sir.  May I have another?"

Jimmy Smits is the MAN!!!! He's ridiculously convincing as a gang lord.  Seriously!  I am really impressed.  What a brilliant career move!

AMAZING artwork
from SSAVA on
Deviantart 

Holy holy shit.  Holy SHIT!!!!  Gemma, you ignorant SLUT!  I can't BELIEVE she set Tara up!!!    OH my god...did she tell the po po that Tara conspired with Otto?? Or just that she asked for the cross?  And oh my god it's on video.  Holy shit.

Ya know...WHAT is Gemma's damage?? WHY does she insist on staying involved with the MC?  Clay's history.  John Teller's been gone a long time.  It's like...she loves the violence and the drama!  Wouldn't you think she'd like her son to get out and move to Portland with his sons?  She could move up there too and find herself a 50-something hottie.  (My husband will once again tell me I'm injecting my own brand of morality into the show right now. LOL)

Jax...I think I just sharted.

Moving on.  Holy crap.  Jax turning on Pope and saving Tig?  Seriously one of the greatest television moments of all time.  I went from hating Jax - to loving him - in 2 seconds flat.  He went from being the Devil - to being an Angel- in one fell swoop.  And it's so ridiculously hard to wrap your brain around.  When I thought he was going to hand over one man to be killed - I hated him.  But when I knew HE killed 4 guys to save that man - I thought he was the most amazing guy  on the planet.  I sat there with the tears streaming down my face...first in sadness and then to rejoice.  Truly amazing.  This scene is right up there with the scene with Richard Harrow in the woods in season 2 of Boardwalk Empire.  (I strongly advise you NOT to watch that link you've a) seen it already on Boardwalk Empire or b) plan to watch Boardwalk Empire an truly do not give a shit about massive spoilers.

Wahhh. Wahhh. Wahhh. 

What's with Bobby ripping his patch off?  What a little puss puss.  I love him - but good riddance if he's going to leave over this.  I thought he was right when he was the only "ney" on the Clay mahem vote.  But when he came down on Jax after everything went down with Clay going to jail?  No way, man...you're wrong.  And biker or not, I hope you're headed home, patchless, to that shower of yours...because you're looking scraggly.

THANK GOD TIG IS STILL WITH US!!!  He's WAY too strong of a personality to disappear.  I love him almost as much as I love Chibs.

Poor Tara.  Girlfriend has a decent right hook...but no way in hell is she going to be able to hold her own in prison.

"Dear Otto, 

You are a freak and I had to pause Sons of Anarchy when you bit your own tongue off because I thought I might throw up.  For realz.  

Love, 
Carol."

WOW - so now I have to wait for season 6!  No more SAMCRO marathons!  I don't know how to feel about that!  I know one thing - my dreams will be a lot less scary!

Here are some Season 6 spoilers, y'all.  Don't say I didn't warn ya!

Sons of Anarchy Drinking Game

SAMCRO Drinking Game:

Drink whenever Jax says "I'm not gonna let that happen."
Drink whenever Jax says "How are we going to make this right?"
Drink whenever Tara does something stupid as hell.
Drink whenever Chuckie says "I can accept that."
Drink whenever Clay takes his sunglasses on/off.
Drink whenever Tig says something sick, wrong and hilarious.
Drink whenever Chibs says "JACKIE BOYYYYYY!"
Drink whenever Opie's wearing a man bun.
Drink whenever anyone's wearing a man bun.


By all means, feel free to add your own in the comments!

More Things, Life, Whatnot (Season 5)

SPOILER ALERT:  Episode 10 - Season 5

Tig to the head of the Grim Bastards:  "Let's just find Fat Albert and cave his skull in."  I swear I almost soiled myself at this.  Writing = Brills

Gotta love how Clay's talking to Juice and giving him this pretend-heartfelt speech...and it's all bullshit.  "I've done some horrible things in my life...blah blah blah...waaah waaah...watch my back." OMG Clay is out of control.  He's SO annoying now.  How the mighty have fallen!!  Just shut UP already, douche!

Things, Life, Whatnot (Season 5)

A few things:

I love how the hospital could get Juice on the phone...but not Jax and Tara...aka, the parents of the kids in the hospital!  Every once in a while you have to suspend disbelief a bit.  But I am MORE than willing to do it with Sons of Anarchy because it's not an often occurrence.  These editors are anal as shit and it shows.

"Listen Tara...you just sit here and listen to some jazz.  We're going to cut off the nice dead man's hands." ROFLMAO - who said this?? Bobby??  I think it was at the cabin.  Absolutely hilarious.

Quote Hilarity (Season 5)

Jax:

"Call Skeeter.  See who he's burning.  Tell him we need a thumb and a tit."  


I don't even remember which two guys had this conversation...but it's brills:

"Most think it's tied to the criminal element."  
"The city council?"

Bobby:

"It's pink...wet...tastes like sunshine." ~Bobby

Tito Get Me a Tissue

SPOILER ALERT:  I am 3 episodes into season 5!

OMG I LOVE Clay taking Piney's place on Oxygen Island.  That shit is CLASSIC!  Karma's a bitch, huh Clay?  You piece of shit.

Best line of the night:  "Is that LeRoy?"  "Most of him."  ROFLMAO!  SHIZZLE - that scene (with Pope's right hand man killing the 2nd in charge who is now 1st in charge after they killed LeRoy?)  Holy shit that was PURE GENIUS!!!

Shit.  Is Clay going to figure out that RICO is after them?

"We don't let other people raise our children.  It's selfish...and lazy."  LOL!  Gemma's so pious!

OH MY GOD!  Tig's daughter!!!  Pope, you son of a bitch!  You bastard!  How could anyone DO something so horrific!!!  And damnit, I LIKE Rachel Miner.  I am so pissed she's already off the show!  Poor Tig.  Oh man...Poor Tig.

Really enjoying Jimmy Smits!  I like him playing a nice guy pimp much better than an uppity detective.

Tara is getting married with her black bra straps hanging out.  She looks like me at yoga class.

"I don't think your whore Friday is keen on me..."  ROFLMAO!  Gemma's delivery never misses.

They just showed Clay looking all dejected with his oxynecklace before leaving on a mission with the guys...and my hubby goes "He's gonna be riding Piney's trike".  I might pee my pants.  How's it feel, Clay???  (Talk about residuals.  I loved Piney and truly miss his presence on this show and I loathe Clay for killing him.   Piney was the Gemma of the men.  He kept everyone honest.)

Another fantastic line of the evening:  Wrap a scarf around that shit.  What are ya, 15?  Go Tara. She's been trained by Gemma, aka "The Master".

OH MY GOD.  POPE wants Jax to KILL one of the Sons.  And he says Tig can never get out of jail.  So I don't see any other choice for Jax but to pick Tig.  Tig's probably going to agree to it, too.  (At this point, I didn't understand that Jax wasn't allowed to pick Tig.)

Oh my god.  I can't believe Opie is dead.  I am so horrifically sad.

GEEZ - I can't watch this show anymore!  Holy SAMCRO this is shitty as hell!  My hubster is so upset, he doesn't know what to DO with himself!!  He just went to text one of his best buds, Brendan - at 11:15 PM, no less - because Brendan's been telling us to watch SOA for a longggggg time - and Tom feels like one of their friends died.  It's just so sad

Frankly though - being a chick and all - I'm kindof glad it was Opie.  Hear me out.  He was so lost.  I mean, don't get me wrong, his KIDS now have NO ONE but his bitchy mother and his ex wife the porn star.  But he checked out when Donna died and buried himself when Piney died.  He wanted to go with them and is pretty much of no use to his kids or the club at this point.  Poor thing.  I guess I just hate to see a lost soul.  Now he's at peace.  (I grew up Catholic, whaddaya want from me?!)

And Tig.  LORDDDDDDDDDDD TIG!  WHAT in the world!  When is he going to PIPE DOWN and not be so friggin compulsive!  He gets everyone around him into trouble or dead!  He's like Mr. Magoo!!!

OK that's enough for me.  I'm exhausted after 3 episodes.  I need sleep.  I'll add some pretty pictures tomorrow.  Check back now...ya hear?

Broken Clay Figures

SPOILER ALERT:  I have watched 4 seasons of Sons of Anarchy!!!

Holy crap - where do I even start?  The last 5/10 minutes of the last episode of season 4 - just like the last 5/10 minutes of the last episode of season 3 - was effing FANTASTIC.  HOW about Jax struttin' his stuff into the "chapel" and sitting his ass down at the head of the table?  And putting CHIBS in the seat next to him?!  BRILLS!

Awww...poor Tigs.  He was NOT happy to get the boot to the next seat down.  He was almost as dejected and pissed off as I was in church this morning when a family came in late and the usher shoved my ass to the middle of the row...but I digress.

BUT - as much as I loved it - I hated something, too.  WHAT was with TARA coming in...talking to Jax about PERSONAL BIZZNAZZ...and being all possessive with him with her arm around him?  As cool as it was to compare the scene to the shot of Gemma and John Teller all those years ago, it was ANNOYING AS HELL to see Tara treating Jax like a big ol' BABY in front of his club.  Talk about EMASCULATING!  All I wanted to say to her was "TARA! (yelled like Jax yells it)  You are his OLD LADY!  Go home and fix him a turkey pot pie, bitch!"  Jax is going to have to teach her to do as she's told.

And where was Opie?  SHITE.  He is pissed...and I don't blame him one bit!  Clay KILLED PINEY!  And not-for-nuthin'....but I loved Piney.  I am NOT happy he's dead.

What I am tickled PINK about is that Juice is free and clear and doesn't have to worry anymore.

How about that freaky US Asst. District Attorney just walking away at the end and being so nice to everyone???  I LOVED how he handed over Juice's history folder.  And I nearly PLOTZED when he walked into the Council and dumped out the sex toys.  Although EW - I didn't even know there was such a thing as a CHILD lifelike doll last night.  HOW that is OK for them to manufacture them in ANY country is BEYOND me.

Moving on...I loved how the cop at the convenience store was so nice to Jax and treated him like a regular schmo.  Because for a couple glorious hours, he WAS a regular schmo.  I truly hope he gets to feel that feeling again.  I can tell he's going to be a complete badass in season 5...but I hope SOMEDAY the man gets to walk around barefoot, in his front hard - without his cut - and WITHOUT someone watching from a van on the street.